


We all have our breaking points

by Cl0w_N



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Canon, Yuri Plisetsky Needs a Hug, i don't know math, i guess its fluff, like three years later?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 23:48:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30046674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cl0w_N/pseuds/Cl0w_N
Summary: Yuri has had enough, he's tired and pissed off.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin & Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Victor Nikiforov & Yuri Plisetsky
Kudos: 38





	We all have our breaking points

**Author's Note:**

> TW- Discussions of eating disorders, Yuri thinks some questionable things about his situation, implied self-harm. 
> 
> Please note that this is based on my personal experiences with these things so if you don't share these specific experiences with disordered eating and eating disorders please don't get mad at me lol <3
> 
> also, I have been ice skating twice and both times I ended up on my face so if I use the wrong...lingo? i guess please don't yell at me. AND ignore the fact that Victor is spelt Viktor, I'm lazy lmao and I cannot be bothered to change it :) 
> 
> stay safe, drink water and remember that you are loved<3

_ "Have you eaten today?"  _

_ "What did you have for breakfast?" _

_ "Hey! Yuri, have you had something to eat today?" _

_ "You know that food is the fuel to the body, right?" _

_ "Hey, Yuri! have you-" _ Yuri had had enough. Why were they all so annoying? Everyone was always asking the same damn questions. It was as if he didn't have fucking arms to feed himself. He was tired out and pissed off, why can't they just mind their own damn business?

Over the past three weeks, everything about him had revolved around this stupid fucking issue that, in his mind, wasn't even that bad. Everyone was treating him like a baby. He most definitely was not a damn baby. 

It bugged him, he was well aware that he was overreacting and that they were just trying to be nice but still, it pissed him off to no end. He grabbed his ankle, lifted it to his chest and pulled off the blade guard that covered his skate. He resisted the urge to throw it at the nearest person, that person being Viktor, and instead put it down on the bench next to his rucksack. 

Yuri slowly stepped onto the ice, a week ago he'd landed one of his jumps wrong and his knee took most of the damage so he was trying to be careful to not injure it further. He looked around the ice and made uncomfortable eye contact with Yuuri who was marking his way through his new routine. 

Over the past month, Yuuri had been one of the only ones to treat him like a normal human being instead of a broken, incompetent child that couldn't lift a fork to his mouth. He'd given Yuuri no reason to like him but, he'd been the most helpful. It felt nice having someone that wasn't family or Otabek (or Viktor) there for him. 

Yuuri kept talk of food outside of mealtimes to a minimum which Yuri was extremely grateful for, he was able to keep skating and his issues separate which, in his fucked up mind, was a good thing. 

Yuuri gave him a soft smile and a small wave before going back to what he was doing. 

Yuri started by slowly skating circuits around the rink, he didn't want to put too much strain on his body too fast as he'd been pretty shakey over the past couple of days, which paired with his fucked up knee was a recipe for disaster. 

After warming up, He tried to go for a jump and soon realised that he should've stretched beforehand. His body was tense and that was his downfall, literally. His head was pounding, his hip was burning and he was embarrassed. He'd fumbled and hit the ice with a loud thud. 

There was shouting and then hands-on his arms pulling up from the hard ice. Yuri blinked slowly to clear his vision, in front of him was Yuuri and he was speaking but Yuri couldn't make out what he was saying. He looked up and saw that Otabek was the one pulling him up from the ground, he gave his boyfriend a weak smile mumbling softly. 

"Yuri, why did you fall?" Yuuri asked standing up with him. "Did you pass out?" 

Yuri shook his head, his mind was still hazy and he felt a strong urge to throw up. Otabek helped him over to the edge of the ice where Viktor was waiting for them. 

Viktor took him by the shoulders and guided him over to the closest bench. He helped him remove his skates as Otabek and Yuuri made their way over to the two. They both wore concerned looks on their faces as they waited for the younger blonde to say something. 

"Yuuri?"

"I'm fine, I just stumbled...I should've stretched before getting on the ice," The 18-year-old explained as he squeezed his eyes shut trying to expel the headache out of him. "I'm fine." He reiterated staring at their faces. 

"It's almost lunch," Viktor said. "I think you should sit out until after you eat something." Yuuri nodded in agreement. 

Yuri groaned leaning his head back in dismay. This is exactly what he hated, he could feel the three pairs of eyes watching every little movement he made, burning holes into his head. He wanted to get up and run away but he knew that wouldn't help the already bad situation. "Fine." 

Eventually, Yuuri and Viktor went back to the ice leaving the two younger skaters alone. Otabek sat down next to his boyfriend and opened his arms for him to fall into. Yuri took the invitation and melted into Otabek. 

"Are you okay?" Otabek asked quietly trying to give themselves as much privacy as they could. 

"No," Yuri mumbled. When he was around Otabek Yuri tended to be more open about how he was feeling, it did take a while for Yuri to become comfortable around him, two years to be exact, but it felt good to finally be able to open up to someone without fear of judgement. They'd been friends for a good three years but had only begun dating five months ago. In this short time, Yuri had felt happier within himself. He wasn't as angry as he used to be, the short temper was still there but he was less bitey with most people. 

"Did you have breakfast?" Otabek could tell that food was something Yuri didn't want to be thinking about right now but, he had to ask. 

Yuri's head snapped up and his eyes closed in on his boyfriend. "Yes, I did." He said through gritted teeth. He had to hold himself back, if this was anyone else he would've flipped out and stormed off. 

"Uh-huh...then what happened?" Otabek asked. "You're not one for stumbling." 

Yuri looked back down and fiddled with the sleeve of his sweater in silence. His head was still fuzzy, his hip felt as if a long metal pole had been jammed into it repeatedly and if they weren't in such a public place he'd probably be in tears. 

"I just...I needed to stretch beforehand." He mumbled uncharacteristically quiet. "Can we go somewhere not so...exposed, please?" 

Otabek nodded and stood up taking Yuri's hand to drag him somewhere more private.

Otabek guided him to the locker room and helped him to one of the benches. "What's wrong? You've not been yourself recently." Otabek pointed out. 

To any onlooker, Yuri's behaviour hadn't changed but to Otabek, who'd spent the last month practically attached to his boyfriends hip, Yuri was acting strange. 

"It's just...I don't know. Everyone's always asking the same fucking questions, they're always asking if I've eaten as if I can't feed myself, of course I've fucking eaten, Yuuri wouldn't allow me to come here if I didn't have breakfast." Yuuri had been adamant that he would not allow his namesake to step anywhere near the rink without some food in his stomach.

"I know they're just trying to be nice but it just reminds me that fuck, yeah, I did eat and now I feel like shit and then after they leave my mind starts to wander and I start thinking about the calories and the carbs and the fat and then I get all panicky and then-" Yuri stopped himself, his mouth forming a thin angry line. He looked over at Otabek expecting him to get up and leave but instead, he was met with a warm smile. 

"what is it that bugs you? them asking or just the way they ask?" Otabek was just trying to understand the best he could.

"I don't...I don't mind them asking if I'm okay but it's when it's only about the food issues I just...it bugs me and-" 

"Why do you do that?" Otabek cut in.

"Do what?" Yuri looked at him with a frown. 

"Call it that, why don't you call it what it is?" Otabek asked quietly. "You have an eating disorder, Yuri, calling it food issues kind of dumbs it down, does it not?" 

Yuri opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out except a small, defeated huff. 

"Continue," Otabek waved. "Sorry for interrupting." 

It took a moment for Yuri to start speaking again. "I feel like such a brat and trying to understand my emotions is hard. If I don't eat I...god this sounds awful, I feel accomplished, like I feel good...but I also know it's bad and wrong but I just don't care...and if I do eat I feel so gross and bad, I feel like I'm not sick enough to deserve the worry if I eat..." 

Otabek gave him a worried glance, he knew how bad it was, he'd seen how worked up he can get over something as simple as a portion of plain pasta, but it still hurt to hear him say it out loud. He didn't know what to say.

"I've eaten lunch every day this week, how can I say I have a problem- an eating disorder when others are sicker and worse than me?" Yuri's voice raised above speaking level.

"Eating disorders are different for everyone and as good as Yuuri's food is, I don't think it has the power to cure mental illnesses." Yuri squeezed his eyes shut and slammed his face into his boyfriend's chest to mask his red cheeks. "Do you want to go home?"

"Mhm..." Yuri nodded as he clutched onto Otabek tighter. His headache hadn't gotten any better and he'd only just realised that he'd scuffed the palms of his hands. Tears brimmed in his eyes, he really did want to go home (Yuuri and Viktors house) and sleep.

Otabek had gotten up, Yuri still attached to his side, to go and get their bags. Yuri was exhausted and his eyes were drooping, his legs were about to give way causing him to hold onto the taller of the two tighter. 

Once their bags had been picked up Otabek told Yuuri where they were going before he dragged the blonde out to his motorbike. 

"You think you can hold on?" Otabek asked passing a helmet to Yuri. 

Yuri nodded weakly and took it from him putting it on. He climbed on after Otabek and snaked his arms around his waist.

It was a quiet short drive to the Nikiforov house, the crisp air hit Yuri's face calming the headache that was still lingering behind his eyes. 

Yuri flopped of the bike, his arms still hooked around Otabeks middle. He hadn't let go of him for a good thirty minutes now. 

The Nikiforov house was nice and simple, it wasn't flashy and was instead modest unlike one of the inhabitants. The front path was lined with rose bushes, Viktors idea, and there were patches of grass on either side for Makkachin to roll in. 

Otabek helped Yuri inside the house, his limp had gotten progressively worse and the poor boy was about to fold in on himself. 

Yuri sat down on the sofa and let out a quiet whimper. He was still embarrassed, no matter how tired or weak he felt he would  _ never  _ let himself fumble or fall. 

Otabek appeared next to Yuri holding the packed lunch Yuuri had packed for him and a first aid kit that he'd only just become aware of a couple of days ago when Yuri had one of his 'moment' which had resulted in him sitting on the edge of the bathtub sniffling as Otabek patched up his wounds. 

"Give me your arm," Otabek asked holding his hand out for Yuri to put it into. Yuri did as he was asked and stayed quiet, his eyes downcast. He didn't want to see the disappointment on his boyfriend's face.

He shouldn't be embarrassed, he knew that but, he couldn't help it. Otabek didn't comment on it, Yuri silently thanked him with a soft smile, and instead wordlessly dabbed the alcohol wipe over Yuri's bleeding palm. 

"When did you do that?" 

Yuri's heart sped up.  _ This is it. He's going to leave you.  _ The tears that had been sitting on his eyelashes for a while finally overflowed and spilt down his cheeks.

"Yuri?"

"Yesterday..." Otabek nodded and then finished cleaning Yuris palms. He got up to go and put the first aid kit back to its rightful place in the bathroom cabinet. Yuri was left alone, he hadn't been left alone for a while. His thoughts began to wander. 

It was supposed to be a diet, a harmless one to lose a couple of pounds but slowly he began spiralling. Young sixteen-year-old Yuri was at the top of the skating world. Everyone loved and respected him for who  _ he  _ was and he'd managed to distance himself from being seen as a 'young Viktor'. Then his grandfather made one stupid offhanded comment about the off-season weight he'd put on, Yuri thinks this is the catalyst that kick-started his Anorexia. He's not sure though, maybe he was possessed by a demon two and a half years ago.

Yuri's thoughts were stopped by the sofa dipping next to him. He looked up his smile falling a little. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Yuri shook his head and leaned his back against his boyfriend. 

Otabek leaned forward picked up the brown bag that contained the shorter boys' lunch. Yuri groaned, right now he did not feel like eating. He needed to nap instead. 

"Yura, you need to eat something." 

"No."

"Please, you don't have to eat it all just the grapes and half the bento, yeah?" Yuri shook his head again, he closed his eyes and 'snored' loudly. 

Otabek sighed and pulled the lid of the box, in the first layer contained two rice balls along with some carrots and cucumber. "Look Yuri, they're little cats." Otabek smiled turning the bento to show him. 

Yuri slowly opened his eyes to see and sure enough, the two rice balls were shaped and decorated to look like cat heads. Yuri stared at his boyfriend with a glare, "I can't kill the cats, Beka."

"Of course you can, they're begging for you to eat them."

"Can I sleep first? my head is killing me." Yuri groaned rubbing his temples, sleep was slowly creeping up on him and at this point, he welcomed it with open arms. 

"No, you need to eat something," Otabek argued shoving the bento into his face. "We shouldn't be negotiating this." 

A couple of minutes of arguing later and Yuri was silently munching on one of the cats. His heart was stuck in his throat threatening to make him gag and spew the small contents of his stomach everywhere. 

After finishing one cat and a handful of grapes Yuri laid his head on one of the pillows. "Did Viktor and Yuuri take Makkachin with them?" Otabek asked as he cleared up the coffee table.

Yuri thought for a moment. "No..." 

"Then where the hell is he?"

**Author's Note:**

> ngl I forgot about Makkachin, like completely forgot about him. I was going to put in a bit where he greets them but I guess I never got round to it? anyway, pretend he's with Chris I don't know. or maybe he's a spy for some secret underground business and he's out on a mission for them. maybe he's in Viktor and Yuuri's bedroom chilling on the bed.
> 
> i would also like to pride myself on not killing someone in this one, every other one of my fics has surrounded death, i guess EDs aren’t much happier but at least no one is dead!


End file.
